In summary, dirty talk can have both positive and negative psychological effects, depending on the individual and the context in which it takes place. It can be difficult to vocalize during sex without sounding like a dang moron. In a tweet I will remember forever, a friend of mine described the most regrettable dirty talk he’d ever done, in which he actually told a woman “I’m going to fuck your stupid pussy.” I know!
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This should be obvious, but if Jason Derulo’s lyrics are any indication, it is not. Part of not sounding ridiculous is using sexy terms for body parts. Tits and boobs are both acceptable, but don’t you dare use the c-word (unless your partner has asked you explicitly to do so). There’s no need to get fancy or poetic; you’re not writing an essay for AP Lit, okay?
Create a word bank of what you like and dislike
It’s worth noting that some people genuinely enjoy and prefer silence during sex, and that’s okay too. Dr. Jansen has come across such cases in her practice. But if you have a timid lover who is interested in talking dirty but isn’t sure where to start, you can help them venture out of their comfort zone by teeing up opportunities for them to follow your lead. If you are that timid lover, ask your partner to give you direction on sexy things to say. As with most things to do with eroticism, it’s often the least politically correct things that are some of the biggest turn ons behind closed bedroom doors.
- Marin suggests trying to read either already written erotica or what you wrote down out loud to yourself in the mirror.
- “Dirty talk is categorized as [any] communication during sex that enhances sexual pleasure,” adds Dr. Tara.
- Maybe you love when a partner pays attention to your hair (whether up top or down under), thighs, wrists, collar bone, feet, ears, neck, forehead, cheek, or chin.
Reading erotica or listening to audio porn will expand your dirty-talk repertoire. It can be a little uncomfortable at first, but there is such a sense of freedom that comes with allowing your dirty talk to flow freely. It truly does shift the entire dynamic of your sex life in such an easy and sustainable way.
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𝐇𝐄𝐑 TINY 𝐏𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐘 𝐒𝐎 𝐖𝐄𝐓 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐖💦
𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐈𝐓?🥵
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⬇️𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄⬇️
An “mmm,” “oh baby,” or similar moan-inspired sound will encourage your partner to continue what they’re saying or doing. They’ll be more likely to help you feel that same feeling. The start of a conversation is also a good time to exchange any no-fly trigger words. There’s no denying that the pandemic is creating all sorts of new obstacles for sex and intimacy. Reframing those as opportunities to experiment with things you otherwise would never bother with can be a stimulating way to cope. Maybe you’re more interested in linguistically exploring taboos centered around specific situations, like threesomes, public play, or voyeurism.
This will help you get comfortable without diving too deep or too fast. Below are Lewis’ tips for becoming more comfortable with dirty talk and its benefits and prompts to get you started. There’s nothing wrong with a little dirty talk, especially if it’s in the privacy of your bedroom with your partner. Stryker’s orders are obeyed before they are even issued and thus stand in a chronologically absurd relation to the action they are meant to elicit. They are not only repetitious, given the number of times they are spoken, but they are nonsensical, given that they are delivered after the fact, as a fictional enhancement of the scene rather than as a set of practical instructions.
When you’re out in public, you won’t be having sex, but it’s still a very good time to talk dirty to your man as you can build massive amounts of sexual tension with him…perfect for when you get home! You will most likely need to whisper these dirty ideas and lines in your man’s ears. But if you like you can also type them on your phone and then show them to him. In Chapter 2, we discussed how it’s NOT the actual dirty talking phrases you use that are most important, but HOW YOU SAY THEM. Once you master the proper voice tone, inflections and body language, you will feel like you are a superhero with the ability to turn your man on and make him act like a horny teenager without much effort at all.